# Chuck Norris' Email Address



## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

:bigok:


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## redneckrancher420 (Jul 5, 2011)

Lol i wonder if it actually works. 

I feel some chuck norris jokes comeing shortly....


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## NMKawierider (Apr 11, 2009)

LOL...not a chance...


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## JPs300 (Mar 23, 2011)

LOL! gmail has an account w/ Chuck Norris!

Mr t and Chuck Norris walked into the same restaurant, the place exploded because no one building can handle that level of awesomeness!


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.


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## dookie (Mar 24, 2011)

oldmanbrute said:


> They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.


 Hahaha thats a good one. lol


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## gusguy (Aug 18, 2009)

Lightning never strikes the same place twice because it knows Chuck Norris is looking for it.

Chuck Norris doesn't breath air, he holds it hostage for a short amount of time


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## tx_brute_rider (Feb 18, 2011)

That son of a gun Chuck Norris:rockn:


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## redneckrancher420 (Jul 5, 2011)

Chuck norris doesnt call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

*Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.*


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

Scientist have also recently discovered, that Katrina was NOT an actual storm. Chuck Norris was out on his boat fishing, and sneezed.


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## gusguy (Aug 18, 2009)

Despite popular belief, there's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

*If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris. *


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## tacoma_2002 (Jul 16, 2009)

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories!

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby. Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki!

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle!


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

*If Chuck Norris has 5 apples, and you take 2 away, you have about 3 seconds to give them back.*

*Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.*

*Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.*

*Chuck Norris invented the internet so people could talk about how great Chuck Norris is.*


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## 2010Bruterider (Jun 20, 2010)

I'm going in.


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## 2010Bruterider (Jun 20, 2010)

I'm going in.


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## JPs300 (Mar 23, 2011)

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and he got one.


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## skid (Jun 18, 2009)

when chuck norris does pushups hes not pushing away from earth, earth is pushing away from him.


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## greenkitty7 (Jan 26, 2011)

It was once said that on the set of WALKER TEXAS RANGER that Chuck Norris revived a baby lamb. Shortly after he round house kicked the lamb in the head, snapping its neck instanly killing the lamb, just to prove the point that Just as the Good Chuck giveth, the Good Chuck taketh away.

When Chuck Norris falls into water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd.

What goes through a criminals head shortly before he dies?
Chuck Norris's Boot.


The original plans for Mt. Rushmore included Chuck Norris's face. Unfortunately the rock wasn't tough enough for his beard.


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

greenkitty7 said:


> What goes through a criminals head shortly before he dies?
> Chuck Norris's Boot.


^^^^^lol....like this one!

Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he takes blood baths!


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## greenkitty7 (Jan 26, 2011)

Haha.. Santa tells Chuck Norris what he wants for Christmas.


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## greenkitty7 (Jan 26, 2011)

Ghosts sit around the fire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

My favorite:
Chuck Norris once urinated in the fuel tank of a semi truck as a joke... that semi truck is now known as Optimus Prime.


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

Ricky Bobby said, "If your not first your last."
Chuck Norris said, "If your not Chuck Norris, You're dead.

*Chuck Norris won the Daytona 500 in a flintstone car*

*The only time Chuck Norris has ever had his butt whooped is when the doctor did it when he was born. The Dr. has been in hiding ever since.*


*People with Alzheimer's always remember Chuck Norris.*

*Simon plays Chuck Norris says.*


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

Ok. No sexual or racist references please. Let's all respect the Norris, and the forum.


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## 2010Bruterider (Jun 20, 2010)

Simon plays Chuck Norris says. You crack me up. That's hilarious.


I'm going in.


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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

*Tom Brady can throw a football 60 yards. *
*Chuck Norris can throw Tom Brady five times farther.*

*What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object? This is a trick question, for there can never be two of Chuck Norris.*

*Chuck Norris may not have invented death, but he sure as heck perfected it.*


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## swampthing (May 2, 2010)

When the boogie man goes to bed he asks his dad to look under his bed for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

Chuck norris does not style his hair, it stays in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris counted to infinite....twice!

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee in his teeth and boils the water with his rage.

Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a loaded gun....and won.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.


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## Eastexasmudder (Nov 21, 2011)

I'd rather be riding instead I'm using tapatalk!


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## h20dies (May 15, 2012)

Some say Chuck Norris's tears can heal cancer too bad he never cries.


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## greenkitty7 (Jan 26, 2011)

the speed of light is three times slower than chuck norris's boot.

Chuck Norris has his own website, its called the internet.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can HEAR sign language.

Chuck Norris can speak French.... In Russian.

If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

haha.. I gotta use one of those.


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## greenkitty7 (Jan 26, 2011)

jon has chuck norris pajamas, but they give him nightmares when he uses them.


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## filthyredneck (Feb 10, 2010)

^ lmao 

"Killing Time Using Tapatalk 2"


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## mossyoak54 (Jan 16, 2012)

Chuck Norris and Superman once got in a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear outside of his pants.


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## gav09 (Feb 1, 2012)

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

greenkitty7 said:


> jon has chuck norris pajamas, but they give him nightmares when he uses them.


Lol.


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## 2010Bruterider (Jun 20, 2010)

mossyoak54 said:


> Chuck Norris and Superman once got in a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear outside of his pants.


That's too funny!!!


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## BrutemanAl (Jul 3, 2009)

go to google , type in " where is chuck norris " and choose the first option that comes up


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## mossyoak54 (Jan 16, 2012)

Chuck Norris ordered a big Mac and burger king at got one. 


Sent from the mans IPhone.


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## Big D (Jun 23, 2009)

BrutemanAl said:


> go to google , type in " where is chuck norris " and choose the first option that comes up


That's hilarious!


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## killer666 (May 29, 2011)

**** that is the funniest thing i have seen sober in a long time.


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## sloboy (Oct 11, 2010)

Hilarious!!!!


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## 2010Bruterider (Jun 20, 2010)




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## JPs300 (Mar 23, 2011)




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## oldmanbrute (Apr 15, 2009)

Just thought I'd add to our Chuck collection.


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

Lol


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## primetime1267 (Aug 31, 2009)

I just had some killer laughs!!! LOL I have nothing to add.


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## Polaris425 (Dec 16, 2004)

one that I havent seen or heard yet... lol


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## Xtreme_Addictions (Jun 7, 2013)

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, 5 seconds later the grenade exploded

Chuck Norris is the only person who can email a roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris donates 20 pints of blood a day, it's never his


Chuck Norris was bitten by a rattle snake last week, the snake died

The most interesting man in the world tells stories abouts chuck Norris

The most interesting man in the world doesn't always drink beer, but when he does it's because chuck Norris proposes a toast


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## Big D (Jun 23, 2009)

Greetings from Chuck (The epic christmas split) - YouTube


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